fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
