i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
