So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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