never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
It's blow job season.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
