It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
