I have demons in me.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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