Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
