Me too!
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
