OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
