So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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