It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
