My friends, they love my intelligence
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
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