Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
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