help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Randomize
