I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
