just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
