DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
