Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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