Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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