Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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