she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize
