Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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