Ambien. No doubt about it.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize
