If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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