Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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