"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
