This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
