Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
