Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
