So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
i dont even know how to be here
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
