Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
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