it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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