Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Randomize
