some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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