I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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