whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
