So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Randomize
