I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
