Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
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