Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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