you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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