He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
