You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
