good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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