They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
