just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I want her autograph on my taint
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
soo... how was my night?
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
