Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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