I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
She announced her abortion via fbk
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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