forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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