To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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