i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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