She said her name was "party"
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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