Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Randomize
