Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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