apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
you mean i was at the winter classic?
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
