Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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