my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
