you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
