shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Randomize
