Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
