get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
